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Caught in the Middle: A Dream I Keep Having


A lack of inertia

It haunts me, these days

Yet also it’s nice

Just to rest and to laze.


Was it not four short months ago

That I would beg,

God, end this anxiety

Burning bright red.


Is there no middle ground

A scab I often pick

As I swing back and forth

And I make myself sick.


Mulling and pondering

Over my strife,

At first I don’t see

When you enter my life.


Yet it doesn’t take long

For my mulling to cease

For me to find you

In the middle; in peace.


But old habits resurface

And peace turns to lust

For those moments of peace

When you leave, as you must.

Then jealousy, snakelike,

Crawls ‘round in my head,

For those people in love,

Without pain, without dread.


And sparks of my anger

Catch fire and soon,

I’m crying, I’m begging

God stop this monsoon


Of feelings, desires,

God quell them, I wail,

‘Else they’ll be my coffin

In need of a nail.


Oh God, I can’t stop

What I’ve already felt,

This train is in motion

I writhe and I melt.


Enraptured in you,

I long for those days,

When rest was my forté,

And nothing would phase.


But somehow I know

That in time you will see,

That I am a girl,

With eyes like the sea.


Possessing an aura

Of calm and intrigue,

Bewitching your senses

You’ll ache when I leave.


Though you now see her beauty

You still are quite blind,

As you can’t see her love

For your own heart and mind.


And one day whilst both of you

Sit near a stream,

Chatting of life

Of your hopes and your dreams,


A sweet silence falls

All but trickling creek

And a few deep blue birds

Issue songs from their beaks.


Hearts beating quicker

In both of their chests,

Neither one knows

That this moment’s a test.


Yet suddenly, she

Feels an odd sense of calm,

She places a hand

On his wide open palm.


Shocked, he peers into

Her unblinking eyes

To find naught but truth there,

No trace of a lie.


“Thank you,” says she,

“For you’ve shown me a love,

That’s deeper than lust,

That fits like a glove,


Snugly and warm

‘Round my tired old soul,

Who thought that it’d given up

Some time ago.


Consented to being

Alone in this life,

For doesn’t that mean

There’ll be less pain and strife?


But you’ve proved me wrong,

Yet again and again,

Pulling me out of my

Cold, dark, damp den,


Showing me what other

Futures may hold

Like one where, together,

We’re wrinkled and old,


Laughing and smiling

With grandchildren, too,

Where everything’s filtered

Through light golden hue.


“And one -” but she stops,

For he’s gently pulled,

Her face to his face,

Her nose to his nose,


Sweet silence again

Filled with love and with peace,

For both fears and sadnesses

Finally cease.

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